Ma Nishtana...and the Birthday Present

There are always those Sichos guaranteed to be Chazered every year. On Pesach, it is the Sicho regarding the order of the "Ma Nishtana."

The following gave me a much deeper appreciation of this well-known Sicha:

(But first, the Sicha itself in a nutshell: Most of world Jewry begins the "Ma Nishtana" with the question about Matzah. After all, it makes sense to begin the questions with a Mitzvah that is from the Torah, and only afterwards move on to matters that are M'draban (Maror) and Minhagim. (Dipping)

Chabad differs and places "Matbilin" first. While many downplay the significance of a Minhag, we cherish them. It is a Minhag that will stimulate a child to go on to ask the other questions. And it is not compromising on a Minhag, that is the key to a strong Chinuch.)
--
Have you ever been asked the following question:

"Why are the commandments in Yiddishkeit so complicated? Some are from the Torah...others are Rabbinic...not to mention the hundreds of customs...
If Hashem wanted us to do all the Mitzvos, why didn't he just tell us to do them all directly!"
--
We often view a Mitzva as nothing more than a commandment that we must obey. Sadly, we fail to realize that a Mitzva is not only an order - but a connection. It is our way of creating a relationship with Hashem.

The Rebbe once expressed this idea using a Mashal of a father and son:
--
There are times that a father will tell his son very direct instructions. For instance, he will specifically tell him to do well in school and be careful when crossing a road.

On other occasions, he will only hint to his son that something is expected of him. Perhaps, he will tell him, "We have a lot of dirty dishes tonight." The son is meant to take the hint and wash the dishes.

Finally, there are those times that a father will remain totally silent. Not even a clue will offered to his son. For example, no father will mention to his son that he has a upcoming birthday in the hope of his son buying him a present. Such things must come from the son himself.

Similarly, there are certain commandments that Hashem spelled out for us very clearly in the Torah.

Others were only hinted to us - perhaps through an extra letter or superfluous Passuk.

Finally, there are those things that Hashem didn't mention to us at all. Yet, as His children, we know this is what the Tatte wants.
--
Which type of commandment takes precedence?

Disobeying strict orders will have harsher consequences that merely failing to catch a hint. Most certainly, no punishment will be given to a son that forgets his father's birthday.

As a commandment, those that are from the Torah take precedence.

But if we focus on the relationship-aspect of a Mitzvah, it is clear that it is the Minhag that expresses the deepest bond and richest love between father and son.

The Minhag is the birthday present.
The Minhag takes priority.
The Minhag is how begin the "four questions."


(based on a Mashal given by the Rebbe)